summer and observations

I feel summer slipping away much too fast.  

I know I am not alone in this sentiment as I have read it on many Instagram feeds and blog posts too.

The weather here in western Washington has not felt like summer.  Lots of gray, lots of rain, lots of barely 70 degrees.

Glorious plans for beach days and bike rides are but wishes at the moment as we wait for some sunny days.  But the blessing of gray days is that we all sleep in a little longer (well, all except the hard working husband.) we all move a little slower once we are awake, and then there are warm cups of happiness (coffee).

 Ahhh, summer!

I dropped my cell phone recently and shattered the screen.  It still worked, and I could work around it, but...  all that to say, I was without a phone for a little while.  It gave me time to think and observe. 
~ I discovered that I rely on my mobile phone A LOT!   A quick call here, a quick text there (here a call, there a text, E-I-E-I-O - oh sorry!)  

Once I got past the initial withdrawal (and there were withdrawals -  I was kind of really grumpy that I couldn't check Instagram, or take a quick photo.)  This was actually my first observation...I didn't realize I was one of those people who was constantly checking my phone.  :-( 

It also made me realize that I spent a lot of time (through social media) silently and subtly comparing my life to others, and slowly and steadily not appreciating all that I have been blessed with. 
The relationships I have with my husband and children are precious and sweet. 
They need love and nurturing.  Instead of watching others and their priceless moments with their special little people, I need to be living those moments of my own. Because there are lots of them.  We have our own beautiful mess. 

~ Another thing I realized was that when I began using social media it was to capture moments in time that I want to remember in a fun and lighthearted way.
My life, as much as I'd like it to be perfectly orderly and organized - is not because I'm a busy mom.  Folded laundry piles (hey, they're folded!) left on the couch or dishes in the sink are a daily reality of my life.  But you know...I am so thankful for clothes and towels and hot showers (which create the laundry) and choices of nourishing food multiple times per day (which create the dishes) - especially when it seems most of world is suffering so right now - that if my photos are not perfectly styled it's ok, because isn't that part of the living?  Isn't that part of the memory? -  that's how our real life is - it may not always look pretty, but it's pretty special!

~ Along those lines, I again was struck by how perfectionism is rather paralyzing.  I think it's partly what makes me so indecisive.  I want it all to be perfect.  I don't want to make a mistake.  But - there is only One who was ever perfect, and thankfully through Him there is grace.  There is mercy.  There is forgiveness.  Humility is what I need. Pride is my ultimate nemesis!  
Don't get me wrong I love to look at photos of kitchens that are neat and tidy with something scrumptious to eat on the counter with a fork and a napkin set there just for me - with perfect lighting, I might add - who wouldn't? Those kinds of photos are calming and inviting.  I'll still post aesthetic photos too, but I think the "keepin' it real" kinds are also really encouraging. 

~ I had purposed (even before my phone broke)  that I would not use my phone at all during the kids swimming lessons, but really be attentive and encouraging - cheering them on when they say, "Mom, did you see me?  Mom, watch me!"   
All around me at the pool are moms or dads glued to their small screens.  Parent and child completely disconnected.  It's sad, really.
But before I judge...that could be me in my own home.  Just because we are home together doesn't guarantee we connect.  It's a choice, my choice.

The break (ha - literally) helped me to refocus and prioritize a bit.  Cell phones are a convenience and very helpful tool, but they can also be a big distraction from what is most valuable to me.  

Just thoughts on this Friday night. 



~Carol